No regrets.

Me taking up Nursing instead of Political Science or Accounting is a dead issue. I have been writing about the same thing over and over again that I've almost forgotten that there are other things that I can write about. I have been so preoccupied writing about my regrets and its almost not doing me any good so I decided to stop or rather minimize writing about them.

A couple of weeks ago,I came up with the idea of writing my best blog ever but I didn't know where to start and I don't even know what to blog about. I admit I've been kinda off lately and not just with writing but with some other things too. It seems that I cant focus on one thing without being bothered by another. I wanted to do a lot of things like travel around the country, take up culinary classes, do more videos for my youtube account, enter a good organization, donate blood, conduct feedings for the less fortunate and a whole lot more. Planning to do these things never really did me good. The year's coming to an end and I haven't done anything to make any of these things happen.
 
Now I've learned my lesson, I must not wait for things to happen but I have to find ways to make them happen. With that in mind, I know I can pass the freakin' Nurse's Licensure Exam on the 19th and 20th :)

Major Major

Everyone's been talking about the close shot of Venus Raj in acquiring the title Miss Universe 2010. Some were disappointed in the way she answered the question during the question and answer portion. Some say she could've done better.Some say she was just nervous.Who wouldn't be?Try placing yourself in her shoes.

 I say,we should stop criticizing her and just be happy for her. After all,she's one of us. This is something that we Filipinos should be proud of.

Being a part of the Miss Universe pageant was already a dream come true for Venus. We all have witnessed the things she had to go through just to be a part of this pageant and take what's rightfully hers. She's happy to be in the top 5,so we might as well be happy for her. She did her best and she definitely has no regrets.

 I quote Venus, "This is not about the money.This is not about the crown.This is about my dream" 
Congratulations,Venus Raj for a job well done! :) Have a safe trip home :)

click to see -->  (Ms. Philippines' question and answer portion)

Random.

What are my goals? 

What do I want to be?

 Where do I see myself in the future?

 These are some of the questions I have been asking myself lately. My answer?I don't know.Like really.Giving up on the thought that i'd never become a lawyer, I made myself believe I had that "calling" to be a nurse last year but then,a couple of months ago,I decided I wanted to become a surgeon and now, I think I want to enroll in a film school and do some film-related stuff. I do not know a thing about making films but I want to try it. Who knows? maybe one day ill make it in Hollywood. :))

Going deep.

Lost.

I don't know where i am right now,where I'm headed to and I do not know what awaits me. All i know is that I'm alone and I'm scared. You might think that I'm probably a loner but I'm not. I have friends but i find it hard to sit with them,look them in the eyes and say what the hell I'm feeling right now. 

Poker Face.

People who know me personally think I'm the strong type but I'm not. I tend to keep whatever i feel to myself. I can go on blahblahblah about anything for hours but i couldn't stand talking about what i feel for five minutes. I try to fake a smile everyday so as to avoid people questioning me what's wrong. It's easier that way i guess.

Scared.

Failure = my biggest fear. Now that the Nurse's Licensure Exam is fast approaching, I need to make extra effort in studying. I CANNOT fail that exam. People expect the most out of me and i think it's unfair. My whole life,failure was never an option.

Uncertain.

When i was in grade school, I wanted to become a doctor(i think that was every child's dream).In high school i was choosing between Accounting and Political Science. I ended up taking Nursing. Honestly, until this time, I'm not sure if I really want to be a nurse.  I have always pictured myself in court rooms shouting "Order in the court!" but how can i make it happen now? My mom wouldn't allow me to take on a second course so i probably have to work my ass off to send myself to a law school. 


Thankful.


Despite the fucks life has been giving me recently, I am thankful for a lot of things. 

• My friends,who never knew what's going on with my life but still manage to deal with me.
• My family,who never gave up on me even though I'm not good of a person
• My online buddies,who i find it easy to talk to and share my feelings.
• God, for not listening to me when i wished id be dead.

:))